quiero saber que la vida contigo no va a terminar

In lonely mountain ways


of this world's trial and care,


my heart knows naught of fear-scarred days;


the Master's hand is there.

(me and Aubrey; Salar de Uyuni)

My journey may be long,


the pathway rough and steep.


Sufficient for each day my song;


my way the Lord does keep.

(Llama)

And though when evening falls,


 stone my pillow shapes,


the vision of our kingdom calls


and here a Bethel makes. 

(Eduardo; the terror sleeping in class)

This – I believe - will be my final post before returning home.  I have been trying for about the last month to write a good, long, informative update, but here we are, four weeks before my return to the States, and I just don’t think I’m going to be able to wrap up or explain any of those events or ideas that I had hoped too.  Can’t do everything.  My priorities right now have a lot more to do with getting things here settled and resolved and closed before the moment of leaving.  It is already just hard to believe and FEEL that there are only four weeks left (that it can even be counted in mere weeks is surreal), and trying to extend myself beyond necessities is becoming trying.  I have been reading suggestions for returning service workers, about how the re-entry in the home country can be even harder than the exit, and how there has to be a grieving period for the life that has been left behind.  The anticipation of all of that, combined with the need to enjoy my last moments here is becoming quite stressful.  Updating the blog is becoming one of those things that just doesn’t make it on the list of what to do these last weeks.  Unfortunately, it has fallen off along with keeping in close contact with people at home – so I apologize to any of you whose e-mails I may not answer over the next month.  Tomorrow is the day I start bringing my camera to work everyday, and by Wednesday I hope to have finished all paperwork/file work for my kids.  This week is when I start to decide which of my material possessions will say here, and which things I still hope to purchase before leaving: gifts, personal items, recuerdos if you will.  Enjoying time and last moments with people and places, saying goodbye to my kids and coworkers, and all of the people that have made this experience special for me.  My SALT coordinator – Wendy – and her family are leaving at the end of their 3-year term next Sunday, so this week will also be about spending time with them, and last moments.  A friend here – Dovanna – and I have had several tongue in cheek conversations about how we’re going to cry the whole flight home… but that it’s starting to feel like a reality.  Which is ironic and painful at the same time.  Trying my best to not anticipate too much the pain of leaving sometimes takes more energy than I have.  The most painful part is having no idea when I will be able to return again, which is so unlike leaving home.  When we left home, we already knew when we would be able to return, but this situation is different.  There is no certainty of returning, and there is certainly no likelihood that the place will really be the same.  The major part of the environment here has been created by the people, and so many of those key people are leaving, that returning in no way guarantees that anything will be similar.  But I remind myself, that at least when you feel strong emotions and connections like this, at least you know you’re living.  The things that tug at your heart, sadness of leaving, joy of having experienced, the feeling of missing people, all of these things tell of that we are alive.  So, here you have some of my final thoughts, albeit sort of unorganized, and to be honest, very confused.  And the pictures are sort of some favorites from the year, and from a trip I took recently – that I hoped to be able to describe a bit… - and the songs are what has been rolling around in my head… I’ll work on a translation for that one….

 

paz.

 

Hasta que nos vemos…

(Dovanna, inappropriate MCC conversations...)

Déjame atravesar el viento sin documentos

que lo haré por el tiempo que tuvimos.

Porque no queda salida

porque pareces dormido,

porque buscando tu sonrisa

estaría toda mi vida.

Quiero ser la única que te muerda la boca,

quiero saber que la vida

contigo no va a terminar.

(getting my hair pulled...)

Déjame que te cierre esta

noche los ojos

y mañana vendré

con un cigarro a la cama. 

Porque no tengo más intenciones que seguir

bebiendo de esta copa

que no está tan rota.

Quiero ser la única que te muerda la boca,

quiero saber que la vida

contigo no va a terminar.

(me and my pollera)

Porque sí, porque sí,

porque en esta vida

no quiero pasar un día entero

sin ti.

Porque sí, porque sí,

porque mientras espero por ti me muero y

no quiero seguir así.

(sunsets)

Let me cross the wind without documents

Which I would do for the time that we had

Because there’s no exit left

Because you appear to be sleeping

Because I could spend my whole life

Searching for your smile. 

I want to be the only one who bites your mouth

I want to know that life with you

Will never end. 

(our tour group on the Salar de Uyuni)

Let me close your eyes tonight

I tomorrow I will come to bed with a cigar.

Because I have no more intentions

To continue drinking from this cup

That is not so broken. 

I want to be the only one that bites your mouth

I want to know that life with you

Will never end. 

(I caught Aubrey sleeping...haha)

Because yes, because yes

Because in this life

I don’t want to spend an entire day

Without you.

Because yes, because yes

Because as I wait for you I die

And I don’t want to go on this way. 

 

(early morning on the 3rd day; -15C outside, 36C in the water)

wait a minute

oook - so I don't know if any of you are up on world news ...or more accurately South American news... but just in case you are... you will know that Bolivia has recently made it into World News - which is funny cause with all the problems that I hear about daily, it's interesting to see what actually puts this place in the news. My rundown of things would look pretty biased, and probably embarrasingly ignorant, so I will direct your attention to more credible sources; though I still suggest swallowing this information with a generous helping of salt.... These issues are so polarizing, and bias can be so obvious on both sides, that you're better off reading everything and then guessing that the truth lies somewhere in the middle of what you read.

To lay the groundwork, on Sunday the department of Santa Cruz had a vote for autonomy - which is not actual secesion, but has more incommon with the rights of states and provinces in the US and Canada. However, it is also - on Santa Cruz's part - an attempt to block Evo Morales's efforts to redistribute land (which here is valuable, vast, and in very few hands) and to nationalize the country's gas. And in my personal opinion, if it's not actual driven by racism, it's certainly presented that way. This is a coin with many sides. Personal opinion: the idea is good, the execution and tone of the whole movement sucks. But on the other side, the opposition to Santa Cruz's bid for autonomy (a.k.a. the Morales government) has not exactly been 100% out there honest and kosher about its actions. It seems to me that no one is really in the right here. Morales' government says that the vote for autonomy is illegal and unconstitutional, but Santa Cruz claims that the constitution is invalid because of the manner in which the Constitutional Assembly was handled last year.... which is also a fault that can be found on both sides. The root of all of this opposition? Gonna go ahead and say it's has little to do with autonomy or land distribution... but that's a personal opinion.

For you viewing pleasure:

I suggest the Democracy Center Blog (http://www.democracyctr.org/blog) - a view from the more Western, Altiplano, side of things, based in Cochabamba - they have some really good continuing coverage on this stuff. Scroll down and read the stuff from earlier last week. It's really the best source I've found for news here.

I would also suggest reading the World News stuff that can be found on sites like Yahoo and MSN or CNN. Most of the news concerning this on an international level is best in Spanish, but that being as it is, I suggest these sources. Still thinking the Democracy Center is everyone's best bet. It will even give some insight into culture and the background that it gives to these events. It does, however, tend to bias a little to the West, though does not leave Morales free from fault, which is a tendency of the Bolivian news that I've read on an international level.

The results of this vote and the divisions and separatism that are creating tension here right now will be seen play out over the next few months, as the federal government and the department of Santa Cruz seem to have come to a bit of a standoff right now, waiting to see what the other will do. It could get interesting. Positive thoughts for a united Bolivia anyone?

100 Degree Christmas

(The lovely ladies of SALT: Aubrey, Dovanna, Wendy - our coordinator, and me. Francis just had to get in on this one too!)

Some Christmas thoughts I suppose, right? Well, here we are, December 20th... I think... Thursday, almost the weekend. I've been shut up in the dining hall at the Children's Home for the last three weeks, first scraping all the paint off the walls (cement walls, oil paint... not good) and then painting, so the weekend coming is a good thing. Unfortunately, if we don't finish the job in time, it will only become Saturday's job, which would be largely inconvenient for me, since I have some hardcore Christmas shopping to do. It's hot too, man, seriously not Christmasy around here. I am expecting my parents and sister to come and visit the day after Christmas - that's funny: refering to it as if it's not a set thing.... haha. I mean: my parents and sister are coming on the 26th and staying until the 3rd of January, so I have a lot of stuff to get ready this weekend. Pack some things to send home, wrap some gifts, buy some gifts, and make Jam-Jams for the Bolivian host family.

(Dovanna and Aubrey - looking lovely for the Christmas party.)

I don't have a lot of very exciting news right now, but here are some pictures from the Christmas party that we had for MCC. The SALTers really brought the heat at the dinner: all you can eat buffet, and lookin' flawsy, flawsy. Oh yeah. It was really great for all of us to be together, since we are not often all in one place at the same time. Stephen is rocking out to a hopping social life, Aubrey lives in Santiago, and I am currently just about always working. Of the SALTers , I see the most of Dovanna, who got to go home for Christmas! Lucky. Gets to see snow. I do have to share one wonderful experience that I had last weekend though, that may seem just a little too far left of center to some people. But bear with me. One thing that a lot of us miss around here as North Americans is hymn singing, since music in church here is a whole lot of 7/11 on high volume, out of tune. That can be painful for Mennonites. So when we have our MCC English Potlucks every Wednesday night, we usually sing a few hymns, currently lots of Christmas ones. And if you know Mennonites, you can imagine the lovely four part harmony we fall into... Especially if both Aubrey and Wendy are there, since they are both more musically educated and inclined than the rest of us. Aubrey was in town this weekend, but she missed out on Wednesday night, and really wanted a chance to sing Christmas songs. We went for a walk on Sunday night (she headed back Monday) down to the plaza central where an orchestra and choir from one of the poorest barrios in the city was performing parts of Handel's Messiah in the Cathedral. Although even I could hear the imperfections in the execution of this music, it nearly moved me to tears just because it brought me so close to home, I could feel it in my chest. Aubrey and I couldn't help but join in on the "and he shall reigns". Afterward, we walked all the way to the cathedral and back to MCC singing Christmas songs in the empty streets of Santa Cruz, Aubrey singing alto and me with the soprano parts (mostly cause I can't harmonize. That makes me only half-Mennonite). It was lovely to be able to sing together, however strange it is to sing in English in public, late at night, I think it was strange and wonderful. There weren't that many people, and in any case,everyone stares at two gringas walking down the street: might as well give them something to stare at.

(Me and Stephen. We're pretty much models. I sunburned that day. If you can't tell.)

Here are also some pics of my kids from the Biblioteca and the kids from the Children's Home from when we had a day camp style end of the year thing about a month ago.

(Aubrey, Me, and Dovanna. We are fishies.)

Merry Christmas - though I'm sure there's more to come on this subject.

(The kids, waiting "patiently" for their bible lesson to start.)

(getting ready to play "dinamicos" on the cancha.)

(Paola and Maria René got Profe Aida!)

(Juan Pablo chasing Michele.)

boliviaboliviabolivia

HA! And now I am finally here, after all the months of planning and packing and worrying, I am here in the MCC Compound in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. This first week here is one of orientation and some good old fashioned relaxation before we move in with our families, begin language study, and then start our jobs. We are staying here at on the MCC grounds, meeting the other volunteers, both local and foriegn and basically getting a hold on our surroundings. To sum up the city from my point of view, I would have to say that EVERYTHING is different. The way people dress, the way they talk (Camba spanish is a little different), the way we shower, what time we eat, even directional signals and car horns mean different things. This week is about seeing what we can and becoming at least some what accustomed to it before we leave this MCC property for life with our host families. Next Sunday is when they will come to pick us up and take us to our respective homes to move in. Next week we will start five weeks of language study both with tutors and one on one teachers. In the next few weeks we will also be traveling to Santiago de Chiquitos where one of our group will be working, and to Cochabamba for an MCC ¨focus weekend¨. I will know more about these trips later. This morning we had refreshments (called refrijerio) with the other MCC staff and volunteers, and learned about how our financial matters will work while we are here. I have my first wad of currency - Bolivianos - at an exchange rate of 8 Bolivianos to 1 American dollar. Things seem insanely cheap here, though I know that it is all relative. For example, calling home is 50 centavos a minute, which came to 10 Bolivianos for a 20 minute call. But ten Bolivianos is just over a dollar. It is hard to adjust to seeing the Boliviano as having an equal value in this society as the dollar has in ours.

I am also practicing my Spanish as much as I can, which isn´t hard: most of the workers here at MCC are Bolivian, and there is a rule here that if there is even one person in the room who does not speak English, we speak Spanish. The odds are pretty good that the language of choice will be Spanish at any given time. Good practice for life outside of MCC´s walls. Thats all for now; just taking time to relax and adjust and gear up for the coming months.

Arrived in Akron for orientation

Me in front of "Africa House" where I will be staying at the MCC Welcome Center in Akron, PA for the duration of my orientation. More to come ...

(posted by Mom)

Hello

So, this is my first Blog post ever! How exciting.... There are now nine days until I depart for Akron, Pennsylvania to start my MCC orientation. Orientation will last for a week - until about the 18th - when I believe I will be flown to Bolivia!!! Once I arrive in Bolivia along with the 5 other MCC volunteers I will be traveling with, I will begin my MCC Bolivia orientation, and will then start a month-long period of language study. From there the details get a little murky, but somewhere in there I imagine that I will meet and move in with a host family, unless none can be found for me, and will begin my job at the Guarderia Moises/Stansbury Children's Center outside of the city of Santa Cruz.

With August 11th fast approaching, there is a lot still to do! I seem to be continuously making and losing lists of things I have to do, buy, or remember to bring! Putting time with friends and family first is also a current priority, and I find that keeping the stress level low is difficult and a daily balancing act.

Well, thats all for now! More to come...